For those of us who don’t want to lose weight, work out more, eat healthier, do things that scare us, or even be kinder to people, here are four New Year’s resolutions actually worth your time.
Eat Potatoes | There are better times of year to eat healthier, and let’s face it, our generation is eating better than most on the daily. But listen to me. There’s a place called Potato Corner. Go to the one in Chinatown on Canal between Centre and Baxter. Did you hear me? It’s a corner full of potatoes and related accoutrement.
Free Your Dionysus | Dionysus is the Greek god of wine, fertility, ritual madness, religious ecstasy—how does one get that job? The point—use this year to refine your drinking palette. Go ahead and officially graduate yourself from whatever is on special and actually try some interesting drinks. If you need some suggestions, try Jeppson’s Malort, quite possibly the most vile booze around.
Spend Your $$ | Yeezy Boost 350. In tan. Er, more like butter ‘cause I want to spread them on my toast in the morning and straight up take a bite outa them. In the celebration of all things minimalist and completely sick, we plan on floating all around town in our Yeezys. Also, the 750 in black coming soon, and we make the tank that’s just asking for it.
Pick Up a Bad Habit | Okay, there are a lot of ways to think about being addicted, and not all of them are, well, all that bad. @DanielSeungLee’s Instagram account. Binge watching Nathan for You. Coffee—get a moka pot and make affogatos at home for crying out loud. Again, Potato Corner. And this song, literally called “Bad Habit.”
Happy New Year to all. If nothing else, we at least hope you resolve to look good all the time.
- As told by Emily McCrary
Illustration via One Minute Studios.