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Travel Master '15

The holidays mean travel for most of us. Here are some simple dos and don’ts of traveling this year.

Do 
- Choose someone you would like to make your enemy. Travel with them.
- Ask the flight attendant if the pretzels are organic. Disdainfully wave them away no matter the answer.
- Try Airbnb. This saves money and let’s you spend the entire weekend nervously listening through closed doors in order to avoid small talk with the host. 
- Pack your Muscle Tee to give your uncle Jim a reason to ask why you knowingly paid for a shirt with no sleeves.
- Route through the Minneapolis airport. It’s the only airport in America where you can ask other travelers to carry your bags to your gate and they are legally obligated to comply.

      Don’t
      - Close your eyes and moan during the TSA security screening.
      - Go to Whole Foods. At this time of year, it’s nothing but white people falling in love with themselves. 
      - Cincinnati. Even if you’re from there. Just don’t go.
      - Ask the ticket checker on the train if you can see the cockpit.
      - Call the airline to negotiate a cheaper rate. They will report you to the NSA and the NSA will intercept every Snapchat you send to that girl from high school.

       

      One thing you should always do is travel in style. The Nephews Sweatshirt will keep you warm and fly.

      - As told by Emily McCrary

       

      Photos via National Lampoon's Vacation.

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